Ebay hi- jinx!

When I recently went to sell my One Design on e-bay, it appears that some well known trouble makers thought it would be funny to ask questions….here’s the result.

-Mick aka DRIFT

PS we didn’t scare ALL the buyers away…in amongst the hi jinx, there was a legitimate buyer!


Apparently some people find it unacceptable to have more windsurfers than there are days of the week so reluctantly I have a One Design up for sale…!

This OD is complete, board is in good nick and comes with full size sail, “blue” mast, boom and centreboard.  Also comes with smaller storm/ junior sail, cut down “blue” mast and boom.

Whilst they aren’t the most modern, these boards are still raced, and are great fun.  They are virtually bombproof and their length and width allows them to also be used as a SUP.

Pick up- Melbourne- South east suburbs


This board is obviously taking the world by storm…I though I’d share with you some of the insightful and intelligent questions I have been receiving….

From: echunda
To: driftmedia
Subject: Details about item: echunda sent a message about WIndsurfer One Design #280901377046
Dear driftmedia,
Hi I’ve windsurfed for a long time and been sponsored by the best brands, so I know a lot about windsurfng..
Do you think if I stood by this wind board on Eidethvale beach, I could pick up hot women?
– echunda

Hi Echunda and thank you for your email. I would state categorically that this board would definately improve your chances. I do, however need to outline that this kit was from another time, when sexual orientation and preference was a little bit more fluid and free. By only targetting “hot women” as you outline, you are effectively missing out on 50% of the action. This board is that good it will make you adopt the “any port in a storm” attitude to your intimate relations…. I’d suggest that you buy this board, grow a moustache, shoehorn yourself into a pair of footy short and pull your socks up over your knees. Then head down to Eidethvale beach with your purchase and strike a pose…you’ll have girls (and guys) all flocking up to get their piece of Echunda action. With the money you have saved from buying this board at such a bargain you could also buy a big bowl (for car keys) and a fondue set…


From: tikvo
To: driftmedia
Subject: Details about item: tikvo sent a message about WIndsurfer One Design #280901377046

Hi driftmedia,
Wow – haven’t seen one of these for a while, can you tell me will it make me sail faster ? Will I look cool while windsurfing on a One Design ?

– tikvo

Hello tikvo and thank you for your corresponance. In order to answer your query, I need to break down your questions..
1) Will it make me sail faster?
I dont think a board should be forcing you into doing anything you don’t want to do. I’d suggest that you might need to harden up a bit and show this board who is boss. You need to assume the dominant position in this relationship and not meekly question “Will it make me faster?” but rather you need to strongly affirm that “I will make this board faster”…
2) Will I look cool while windsurfing a One Design?
Well, you definately might not look cool, but you certainly will BE cool. The laws of thermo dynamics state that a surface or object with a warmer surface will be dissapated by a cooler surface. With this in mind I have constructed the following formula and hypothesis:If tikvo (T) has a body temp 36’c and the One design (OD) has a surface temp of 10’c
Tikvo True Temperature= (T) minus (OD)- 36-10= 26.Therefore tikvo is cooler with a One Design than they are without.

– driftmedia



From: 1qazxsw23edcv
To: driftmedia
Subject: Details about item: 1qazxsw23edcv sent a message about WIndsurfer One Design #280901377046

Dear driftmedia,
Does this board come with a hand jib?
– 1qazxsw23edcv

Greetings 1qazxsw23edcv- thats quite a unique name…is it French?

Unfortunately this board doesnt come with item that you are so keenly after. I am sure that if you joined Echunda (from question 1) on the beach with his bowl for car keys and fondue set, you would more than likely end up in a jacuzzi back at his place where you’d happily end up with the hand jib that you so strongly desire.

– driftmedia



From: 2xpoms
To: driftmedia
Subject: Details about item: 1qazxsw23edcv sent a message about WIndsurfer One Design #280901377046
Hi Driftmedia, What a lovely little board. Do you think it would fit inside my Peugeot 308 Hatchback? I can’t seem to get any roof-racks for it. Alternatively would you consider taking the board to the beach and setting it up for me on days that my wife allows me to sail? Thanks, 2xpoms


Hello 2Xpoms…..Peugeot 308 hey? geez, you are doing alright for yourself, aren’t you? What do you attribute to your success? Is it a keen eye for a bargain (such as this 3.6 metre longboard) or is it your reliance on slave labour (such as the request to have me deliver the board to you on sailing days). I think we might need to investigation your request a little bit further… 1) was it your choice to buy the peugeot 308 hatch? no offence, but its not exactly a testosterone filled option 2) you say your wife has to give you permission to sail…do you feel trapped and oppressed? Well, this board is your ticket to freedom, man! It might be a stretch to fit the board inside your hatchback but Im happy to make a modification to your back window which will sort this issue out. The other option you have is to buy a boy’s car with the money you save from buying this board….



From: redandvet
To: driftmedia
Subject: Details about item: 1qazxsw23edcv sent a message about WIndsurfer One Design #280901377046
just wondering.. will this board make me more attractive to the opposite sex?


Hell Redandvet, I get the impression that this board is the only thing that stands between you and a lifetime of heart wrenching lonliness….I feel your pain, Redandvet, I really do….A great scholar once said that material items won’t make you happy or fulfill you in a spiritual sense. Thats simply not true. This board WILL keep you warm at night…it’s length means that it is perfect for spooning and the lack of sharp surfaces make it easy for you to take it to the next level….